How to Teach Your Kids Gratitude

Teaching kids gratitude goes beyond simply teaching them good manners and being polite. Gratitude is more than that. It is a lifestyle that leads us to a positive mindset, healthier and stronger relationships, and overall contentment.

Teaching your kids gratitude is about teaching them to appreciate everything they have, and teaching them to show generosity and compassion to others – which actually contributes to their own happiness.

What is Gratitude?

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, gratitude is simply “the state of being grateful.” It is a strong feeling of appreciation to someone or something for the good that person has done, and readiness to return that kindness.

The Harvard Medical School provides more details, defining gratitude as:

“a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives. As a result, gratitude also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals–whether to other people, nature, or a higher power.” 

Aside from increasing our well-being, psychology research shows how practicing gratitude towards a higher power (to our Creator) can reduce our levels of stress, depression and anxiety.

A 2019 study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies found that gratitude is linked to happiness in children by age 5. This means that instilling gratitude in your kids at a young age could help them grow up to be happier people.

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A recent study found that people who were grateful for things that happened to them in the past, felt happier in the present and more hopeful about their future. Gratitude was a better predictor of hope and happiness than other constructs, like forgiveness, patience, and even self-control. Perhaps if you teach your kids gratitude now, that will help them reflect more on reasons to be grateful later as an adult.

What Does Being Grateful Mean?

The Raising Grateful Children Project at UNC Chapel Hill has revealed that gratitude has four parts:

1. Noticing – What you notice in your life for which you can be grateful.
2. Thinking – Thinking about why you have been given those things/gifts.
3. Feeling – The emotions you experience as a result of the things you have been given.
4. Doing – The way you express your appreciation for those in turn.

When someone is grateful, they practice all these four steps on a regular basis.

Ways To Teach Your Kids Gratitude:

In a time, when most people take every good thing in their lives for granted, when most kids in middle school carry an $800 smartphone with them, when people are always comparing themselves with others and feeling less accomplished, less worthy, or unhappy, teaching kids how to practice gratitude and appreciate all they have can feel like an uphill battle.

But believe me, it is equally important to teach your kids how to practice gratitude for all the good things they are blessed with just the way you teach them how to be successful in their lives. Because if they don’t learn to be grateful, and as a result don’t appreciate the goodness that come their way, they will take their success for granted, and won’t enjoy their accomplishments in a lasting manner.

Start by encouraging your child to say “thank you” often. Teach him or her that by saying “thank you” to someone, they appreciate that person for doing something good for them. You can gently remind your kids to say “thank you” to their brother or sister or friends when they do something nice for them.

Remember – your kids learn by example. They won’t learn to be thankful if you don’t practice gratitude yourself. A 2016 study published in Applied Developmental Science found that grateful parents tend to raise grateful children.

There’s a good chance this is because kids learn to be grateful by hearing and seeing their parents experience gratitude.

In my home, I always say “thank you” to my kids when they do something I ask them to do, or when they are being thoughtful and sweet. That makes them feel acknowledged and appreciated.

Praise them when they thank someone without any prompting from you. Let them know how proud and happy that makes you feel. Positive attention will reinforce the importance of showing gratitude.

Make it a habit to regularly express gratitude in your family. Talk often about the things or people you are grateful for and share your gratitude list with your kids.

Everyday make it a point to highlight at least one thing in your life that you are grateful for, and share that with your kids. Even when you are having a rough day or passing through a hardship, focus on something positive and be grateful for that. Let your child know that there is always something to be sincerely grateful for even when things go wrong.

Thank God everyday, together as a family, for all the blessings you have been given to enjoy, sometimes without even asking. Each week send someone a “thank you” note or a token of appreciation and let your kids see that. They will learn to do the same. Once a week sit together and ask your kids about the things and people they are grateful for, and how they can show their appreciation in turn.

Also, let your kids know that you are so grateful for having them in your life. Understand that grateful parents tend to raise grateful children.

You can also read some of these storybooks together (mentioned below) with your young kids. That’s a great way to start a nice conversation, and teach your kids gratitude in a fun way.

1. Thanks a Million – Nikki Grimes
2. Those Shoes – Maribeth Boelts
3. Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are? – Dr. Seuss
4. Bear Says Thanks – Karma Wilson, Jane Chapman
5. The Thank You Book – Marie Lyn Rae, Stephanie Graegin

The Takeaway

Gratitude is a way of life. Make it a priority in your home. Take time to express genuine thankfulness for every single blessing in your life, however little they are.

Appreciate when somebody does something good for you or someone gives you or your family a gift. Don’t complain about the gift even if you don’t like it for some reason. Sometimes we need to appreciate the giver more than the gifts. By doing so, not only will your child learn to be appreciative and grateful, but also the adults will most likely get a much-needed boost in happiness and well-being. 

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